Get Rid of Overthinking...

I want to ask you a question. How many hours per day do you think?

“I never thought about that.” So let me get this straight. You’re thinking all the time, and yet, you never think about how much time you spend thinking.

That sounds like an addiction to me. I know, because I’m addicted to thinking too.

• When I eat too much, I can say “I’m overeating. I need to eat less.”
• When I work too much, I can say “I’m getting burned out. I need to stop working.”
• When I drink too much, I can say “I need to stop. I need a bottle of water.”

But when I think too much, I can’t just say “I’m overthinking.” I need a different approach to unclog my brain.

But the problem is that we don’t consider overthinking as a problem.

When someone says that overthinking is bad, we often assume that only negativethoughts are wrong. And by that definition, it automatically means that positive thoughts are good.

That’s the thinking error that I’ve made in the past. And I’ll tell you why it’s a mistake to assume positive thoughts are good.

But first, let’s talk about the difference between positive thoughts and negative thoughts.

Positive Thoughts vs. Negative Thoughts

I think most of us agree that negative thoughts are related to:

• Worrying
• Complaining
• Anger
• Feeling sorry for yourself
• Blaming others

Similarly, we can agree that the following thoughts are considered positive:

• Trying to solve problems
• Studying
• Understanding knowledge
• Planning
• Visualization
• Setting goals

What most self-help advice says is, scrap the negative thoughts and double down on the positive thoughts. When you think about it casually, it sounds like good advice.

After all, negative thoughts make our lives worse. And positive thoughts should make our lives better, right?

I wish that were the case. However, the truth is that when you overuse your brain, just like a drain, it can get clogged. The result? Foggy thinking. Which leads to bad decision making.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

Sure, you become whatever you think about. No one said it better than Marcus Aurelius in Meditations:

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

Our life situation is shaped by the quality of our thoughts. I believe in that. However, most of us assume that we are our thoughts.

We say: “Well, I can’t help but think these things. That’s just me.”

No, that’s NOT you. You can decide what thoughts to ignore in your mind. I like how Eckhart Tolle puts it in The Power Of Now:

“The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity—the thinker.”

The only way to stop identifying yourself with your thoughts is to stop following through on all your thoughts.

Instead, decide to live in the present moment—where you don’t have time to think, only to experience.

How Do You Live In The Present Moment?

Thinking is a tool. And instead of using that tool during the 16 or 17 hours that you’re awake, only use it when you NEED it.

But how do you do that? Here’s the 4 step process I’ve used to stop overthinking.

1. Raise your awareness throughout the day.
   Always realize that too much thinking defeats the purpose.
2. When you raise awareness, immediately start observing your thoughts.
   Every time you start thinking, don’t follow through, just observe how you startthinking. When you do that, you will automatically stop.
3. Only limit your thinking to specific moments that you need it.
   For example, when you’re thinking about setting your daily priorities, sit down and think. That might take 5 minutes. During that time, it’s perfectly fine to think and follow through on your thoughts. Or, when you’re journaling, you’re also thinking during the process. That’s also fine. We’re trying to stop the constant thinking. We don’t want to become a monk.
4. Enjoy your life!
   Let go of all your thoughts about yesterday and tomorrow. No matter how much you want to achieve in the future, and no matter how much you’ve suffered in the past—appreciate that you are alive: NOW.

Look, you don’t need me to tell you how awesome it is to be alive. By the way, I’m not going to sit here and tell you to “enjoy doing the dishes.”

That’s not my style. I just can’t fool myself like that. I enjoy the present moment in a different way.

I let go of every thought in my mind. While I’m doing something I don’t really like (doing the dishes), I don’t think at all. I just do it without judgment.

But when I’m doing something I actually like (no matter how small or big), I genuinely enjoy it. Listening to music, watching a movie, or spending time with my family, friends, or girlfriend—I’m in the moment.

I don’t think about my goals, failures, or things I have to do tomorrow.

I’m just here. Right now. At this very moment. Just like the moment that you’re taking to read these words. When it’s gone, it’s gone forever.

Realize that on a deeper level, and you’ll never even dare to leave the present.

Are you with me?

Life is unpredictable try to be productive in Chaos ...

In a perfect world, everything is steady. You can make plans that actually come true 100% of the time. You can anticipate things in advance.

But as you and I both know, that’s not how life works.

In real life, a single random (and unexpected) event can suddenly screw up all your plans, goals, and good intentions to make a change. Think of…

• A family member who passes away.
• Getting pregnant.
• Getting into a car accident.
• A calamity at work that causes bankruptcy.
• Falling in love.

Unplanned events can disrupt everything. I’ve experienced that several times in my life. And there’s nothing you can do to prevent unexpected events.

To be clear, when I talk about chaos, I’m not talking about adverse events. Sometimes, good things can also disrupt our focus. Life can be unpredictable.

And despite that unpredictability, we still have to function. We must wake up, treat the people in our lives with respect, do our work, and find inner calm. The way I see it, we have two choices.

1. We accept that life is chaos and find a way to adapt ourselves.
2. We refuse to adapt and become miserable because “life is hard.”

To me, it’s a no-brainer. I choose the former. But how do you adapt when life is uncertain? How do you still manage to be productive when you can’t even catch your breath before you have to deal with the next thing?

Here are 3 tips that can help you with those challenges.

1. Stay focused on your tasks

When something important interrupts your life, it’s easy to develop tunnel vision. Before you know it, your whole life can be consumed by something random. Let’s say you fall in love with someone.

And all of a sudden you can’t think of anything else but that person. You can’t focus on your work. You forget about your friends. You don’t go to the gym anymore. You just want to spend time with that person.

Even though it’s great to be in love, there’s more to life.

Sure, enjoying today matters. But we can’t allow ourselves to forget where we are going in life. We can’t neglect our work, family, friends, and health—under any circumstances.

To stay focused and not give up my ideals, I keep reminding myself of why I do what I do. I do that through daily journaling. No matter how hectic your life is, you can always find 10 minutes to sit down and reflect. No excuses.

Plus, I keep looking at my goals almost every day. That reminds me of where I want to go. And when you know where you want to go, you’ll keep going. It’s as simple as that.

Want to hear more tips about staying focused during chaotic times? 

2. Work in short bursts

Always be prepared to get work done. Every time you have a moment to yourself, don’t play with your phone, but instead, squeeze in some work. Even if it’s only 8 minutes.

I bring my laptop and notebook with me wherever I go. Those two things are always by my side. When my life lacks structure, I whip out the laptop at any free moment I have.

Doesn’t matter what time it is, where I am, or how long I can work—when I get the chance, I work.

But working in short bursts is not that easy. After all, you can’t truly focus. In a perfect world, you have hours of time blocked for a single important task. That’s how you do deep work.

Working in short bursts only works if you know what you have to do (Step 1).

That’s why I always keep a long list of things that I have to do. So when I work in short bursts, I know that I can’t waste my time browsing the internet or thinking, “What should I do next?”

The process is simple. I grab my laptop, look at my list, and pick one thing that I feel like doing at that time. My list consists of essential tasks. So it doesn’t matter which task gets done first.

For example, this is about the ninth time (I lost count) I’m working on this article. My life has no structure right now. But that’s okay. I still write my articles.

Remember: Your goal is not to work like this forever. When you’ve weathered the storm, get back to your regular routines.

3. Fuel yourself

Life can be demanding. You need proper fuel to handle the physical and mental stress that you endure.

I’m no diet expert. But I am an expert on my personal diet. Usually, I’m not a fan of trial and error. But when it comes to dieting, it’s my go-to strategy.

I’ve tried many different diets and eating patterns. I currently eat mostly protein and unsaturated fat as my first meal, which is around 11:30am. In other words, I skip breakfast.

That’s what they call intermittent fasting these days. There’s nothing new about that. People have been skipping breakfast for ages.

Look, I can’t give you diet recommendations because it’s different for every person. But I can share a few things you should consider:

• Don’t believe everything you read from the health industry. Everybody has something to sell (I’m not only talking about products but also ideas).
• Distinguish the difference between eating patterns (when you eat, how often, etc.) and diets (the type of foods you consume like protein, fat, carbs).
• Be careful with experimentation. Only try things that are NOT harmful to your body (don’t starve yourself, don’t try weird diets like eating red meat only).
• Keep notes on how you feel after what food you eat. Exclude things from your diet that make you feel bad.

That’s how I’ve found the ideal foods and eating pattern for me. For example, I eat rice every evening. I love it. Without eating rice, I get hungry very quickly and don’t feel as sharp. Should I stop eating rice because some random internet person says so? No, of course not.

Finding Structure In Chaos

In the past, I hated uncertainty. I think that’s something you learn as you grow up. “Get a safe job!”, is what people say.

But they don’t tell you that a safe job will ultimately make you lazy and weak. Why? Because you’re safe.

Jordan Peterson said it best in 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos:

“Order is not enough. You can’t just be stable, and secure, and unchanging, because there are still vital and important new things to be learned.”

On the other hand, uncertainty forces action.

That’s why I’ve grown to love uncertainty. It forces me to find solutions to every challenge I face.

And once you live your life that way, you can’t even function properly without challenges. When you’ve reached that stage, know that you’re actually safe.

Having Problems :- Try to deal with it

Everyone has problems. I’ve never met someone who has a perfect life. Wait, I have to put that differently.

I actually meet people who pretend they have a perfect life all the time. You know, you meet someone and ask, “how are you?”

And they start a monolog about perfect life their life is, and how great everything is going for them — and often, they’re just full of shit.

No, real people have problems. So, what’s your problem?

• Stuck in a bad relationship?
• Dealing with depression?
• Do you always lie?
• Can’t finish anything?
• Addicted to substances? Or gaming, porn, dating, etc?
• Can’t stop complaining?
• Hate the world and everyone in it?
• Didn’t speak to your parents for years?
• Can’t stop procrastinating?

I’m a person who genuinely cares about others. So when I meet people, I take the time to get to know them. And over the last decade, I’ve met people from all over the world. And especially in the last year when I started blogging, I connected with more than one thousand people online.

Want to hear a secret? Everyone has issues. For example, I suck at relationships. I’m very impatient. And I often don’t give people second chances. I’m not perfect. I have to change those things.

But most people will never do something about their problems. And you know what happens when you don’t solve your problems?

THEY WILL NEVER GO AWAY.

One of my friends recently got out of a bad relationship. She told me that she always complained about her boyfriend to her friends but never did anything about it.

She woke up miserable. She went to bed miserable. And everything in between was no better.

It took her years to deal with her problems. She was afraid to be alone.

Did it get any easier by waiting? Nope. You just have to deal with it. And now is better than later.

If you have a problem in your life, it doesn’t mean that the world will end. What do you think? Just because you have a problem, the world will stop spinning? I’ll make a bet with you. No matter how big your problem is, we’ll all still be here tomorrow.

The only thing you can do is deal with your problems. You have to MAKE your problems go away.

What’s the use of complaining or crying about something? Do you want sympathy? That doesn’t change anything. Your problem will still be there, waiting for you when you’re done complaining.

“Yeah, but I…”

But, what? There’s always a but.

Look, I’m not saying that it’s easy. If you want to make your problems go away, you have to do something different. You have to try a different way. Change your mindset. Shift your thinking.

Otherwise, you always think you’re helpless. Because if you already knew how to solve your problems, you probably already did. But the truth is that you didn’t. So it starts with admitting that you have a problem that you can’t solve.

Difficult, isn’t it? But it doesn’t mean you can NEVER solve your problems. It just requires some extra effort.

I like what Albert Einstein said about solving our problems:

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

If you have a problem, do something, because something is better than nothing. And yet, most people do nothing. Don’t be “most people.” Be bigger than that.

Because that’s what’s required of you: Be bigger than your problem.

Make your life Exiting ...

When you go to bed at night, are you excited to wake up the next morning? Is there something you can’t wait for?

For the past three years or so, I’ve asked myself that question many nights. And often, I had nothing to be excited about. Those days were not special. They were like the day before.

It’s the opposite of big days like your first day at a new job, the first time you go on a holiday with your girlfriend/boyfriend, getting your diploma, signing a big deal; you name it.

Those things are nice and all. But most days of your life are the same. Do you know that feeling? You look back, and time seems to blend. You can’t separate days from each other. There’s a real danger in that feeling.

Because the next step is that you can’t separate the weeks from each other. That is what happens when every day is the same. And after a while, you stop noticing many things. You just go with it.

And finally, the years start to blend. And all of a sudden, you’re 80 years old, and you’re sitting in a chair, and you say:

“What happened to my life? Where did all my time go?”

I think many people underestimate the value of life. I’ve done that for many years as well. When I look back at my time in college, I think that I had a great time. But I can’t recall much from those years. It’s just like this one big event.

It’s like: “College was awesome.” I say it like I went for a week. But the truth is that I completed two degrees in six years. SIX years! That’s a long time.

But I just remember that I went out a lot, had fun, and did A LOT of chilling with my friends. It was always the same.

And after I got out of college, I worked a lot, and travelled a lot. Again, when I look back, it seems like time moved fast.

I’ve thought a lot about why that is. And I think that the Stoic philosopher, Seneca, who lived about 2000 years ago, had a good answer:

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.”

The problem is that we don’t treat every single day as a separate life at all. We wake up, drink coffee/tea, take care of our family, go to work, make money, do groceries, have drinks, watch Netflix, and we go to bed. Or whatever your routine is.

The next day you wake up, and you repeat the EXACT same thing.

Do you know that proverb; variety is the spice of life? I’m sure you do. But why don’t you spice up your life?

Would you eat the same food every single day of your life? No one does that. You switch it up. One day you have some Italian, then some Chinese, maybe some Indian. Whatever. Or if you eat one cuisine, you switch up the herbs or spices.

So why on earth don’t you do that with your life?

If you’re not excited. Get excited. 

The funny thing is that variety is simple. Here’s another cliché for you — the best things in life are free.

Every day, pick something you want to enjoy. One day you can enjoy the rain, the other day you can enjoy the sunset.

Or how about having your favorite breakfast tomorrow? Or how about trying a whole new breakfast from another cuisine? I’m just throwing some tiny ideas at you. Variety doesn’t have to be big.

Get excited about life. Learn new skills. Languages. Cultures. Build a strong body. Switch up the little things. All those little things make life long and interesting.

These days, I’m glad that time doesn’t blend anymore. I treat every day as a separate life. And every day I’m a different person. A little bit stronger, educated, and different than the day before.

If you want to enjoy life, you have to make it happen. A good life doesn’t happen to you. Most people think that’s the case. They ask: “Why does my life suck?” Well, if you want a good life, YOU have to turn that into a reality. No one’s going to do it for you.

When you’re in bed, ask yourself: Am I excited about tomorrow?

• If the answer is no many days in a row, it’s time to do something about it.
• If the answer is maybe, ask again tomorrow, maybe you had a shitty day.
• If the answer is yes, go to bed with a smile on your face, and jump out of your bed in the morning.

Change is good, but you also have to be practical. You have responsibilities, issues, people to take care of, bills to pay, etc. So you can’t just hop on a plane and go to the Maldives if your life sucks right now.

But you CAN do many other small things that turn every day into a separate life. So fucking do it.

To set a goal is important but for that effort is necessary....

Do you set high goals for yourself? If you’re ambitious, or if you simply want to do a lot of things in life — there’s something you might have experienced: Goals can sometimes be counterproductive.

I see it a lot with the highest achieving people. When you want to live a meaningful life, you quickly feel like you need to do a lot of things, and set many goals.

I also like to set a goal before I start something, so I know what direction I’m heading. Also, I love to plan my goals with the end in mind. When you start with the end in mind (your goal), you can easily trace it back to daily actions.

For example, when I started running, I set a goal: Run 30 minutes a day for six days a week. From there, I deconstructed my goal to smaller, and more achievable goals.

First, I walked for 30 minutes a day. Then, I walked for 20 minutes a day and ran the other 10 minutes. I continued that process until I ran for 30 minutes straight.

Or, let’s say that you’re an entrepreneur, and want to earn X amount of money per month. That means you have to sell X products/services. And if your conversion rate is, for example, 3.5%, you can quickly calculate how many calls/emails/interactions with prospects you need per day.

Now, that’s relatively straightforward.

But how about bigger or less specific goals?

Things like:

• “I want to make a million dollars before I’m X years old.”
• “I want to run a marathon this year.”
• “I want to have 10K followers by the end of this year.”
• “I want to be happy.”
• “I want to get married asap.”

You can only calculate or predict so much. There are limitations to goal setting.

I’ve adopted many strategies from Stoic philosophy. And one of the things that Stoic philosophers talk about is how we should only focus on the things we control.

In The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday writes about the Stoic expression:

“Ta eph’hemin, ta ouk eph’hemin.” What is up to us, what is not up to us.

If you think about it, there’s only one thing that is up to us: Our actions.

Here’s a list of stuff you don’t control:

• The future
• Other people
• The economy
• Nature

But when you chase big goals that should happen in the future, you pretend like you do control those things. And that is exactly the danger of goal setting. We trick ourselves into believing that we can control the outcome of our lives.

That is a lie.

In a way, setting goals is a lie. But does that mean we should stop setting goals altogether? No, you’re not a Buddhist monk. Life is intended to be lived, and we should push our boundaries if we want to grow. Setting outrageous goals can sometimes help you to do that.

But, those goals become counterproductive when you experience setbacks.

Are you a failure if you only got 100 followers instead of 10.000? Or what if you didn’t run a marathon? Are you a loser if your marriage fails? Or if you’re not happy at a particular time in your life?

We’re our own worst enemy with accountability. We think in binary numbers. Black or white. You win or you lose.

And that often causes tunnel vision—we stare blindly on our goal, and when things don’t go our way, we experience stress. We worry about things we can’t control.

If you see that you can’t achieve your goals, don’t get stressed. Change your approach instead.

Goals serve a purpose, right? You want a sense of direction. Well, you can get that same outcome by having systems instead of goals.

Goal = Event in the future.
System = Recurring process.

Instead of focusing on the destination, focus on the process.

• Want to get rich? Add value to other people’s lives.
• Want to get recognition? Do great work.
• Want to win a race? Train hard.
• Want to be happy? Don’t take life too seriously.

Also, stop pursuing things you don’t need.

More is not always better, you know. Especially not when it comes to possessions, money, and status. Seneca put it best:

“It is not the man who has too little that is poor, but the one who hankers after more.”

Another thing: Change your expectations.

Recently I was talking to my friend , who’s a former pro ice-skater.  We were talking about setting goals when he said:

“Many athletes set a goal to win a medal at the Olympics. But out of the thousands of athletes, in every sport, only a few qualify for the Olympics.

Now, let’s say you’re fortunate enough to qualify. When you start the Olympics, there are X amount of athletes who compete for the gold medal. Out of all those people, only 3 will get a medal. And only 1 person will get the gold medal.

Not everyone can be that 1 person.”

And yet, we all expect to achieve our goals. But just because you didn’t win or didn’t achieve your goals, it doesn’t mean you didn’t work hard.

That’s why I prefer to reward effort instead of achievement. To me, effort is the real achievement. And luckily for you and me, effort is one of the few things in life that we control.

So, no matter what you do, control your effort. That means; give it your all.

If something is not good enough, stop doing it.

How often have you said, “I’ve done a good enough job,” and moved on?

If you’re like me, that’s the story of your life. It started when I was in school. I didn’t care about my grades. I just wanted to finish something and move on.

I always said, “no one cares about your grades.” And I believed that in “real life” no looks at your report cards from ages ago. And in fact, it’s true. Other than my parents, no one has ever looked at my grades — not from high school, and not from college.

That doesn’t mean no one looks at grades; some employers take grades very seriously. But there are not that many professions that require high grades.

If you want to get into certain law firms, sure, you need high grades, even to be considered. But I didn’t want to become a lawyer, accountant, or any other profession that requires high grades.

While I had nothing to prove to others, I forgot one person who I actually did everything for: Me.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

You don’t go to school for other people. You don’t work for other people. But all we think about is external factors. We think about the schools we want to get into and the companies we want to work for.

We think about what we have to say to other people when the ask, “what do you do?”

All of that is great, but it doesn’t matter. You don’t live for other people. You live for you. So why not do your best — for no other reason than yourself?

I didn’t get that concept for years. I don’t regret much in life, but here’s one thing I do regret: That I screwed around for many years.

In school, I just wanted to pass my classes — I just wanted to play basketball and chase girls. “Good enough,” was really good enough for me.

I was like, “what’s the point?” Well, you idiot; the point is YOU. But unfortunately, I don’t have a Delorean that takes me back to the past so I could tell myself that.

What kind of things do you do that are just “good enough?”

• Your job?
• Your relationship?
• Your education?
• Your health?
• Your life?

Look, in modern civilization, we live together with other people. And often, people tell you what to do. Your school teacher, boss, mother, father, spouse, all probably have something to say to you. And sometimes, you don’t like that.

But here’s the thing: You’re not doing it for them. You do things for yourself. For your personal development, and for the quality of your life.

But when you’re in the middle of it, you can’t see the point.

We’ve all been there; you have a shitty job and you don’t do your best. Believe me, I’ve been there. But I was wrong.

What’s the point? You’re not helping anyone by putting in the minimum amount of effort — just to get a paycheck.

“I hate my boss and company. I’m just going to check in and out. Fuck them.” I often hear that statement with people who don’t like their job.

I also see a lot of jobless people who don’t want to work for free. If you’re jobless for a long time, you’re not helping anybody. So you might as well get up and work for free. It’s a win-win situation. Do whatever it takes.

How about a “good enough” relationship? Look, I’m not 16; life is not a romantic movie. You and your partner are not going to be in love forever with the same intensity and die at the same moment when you’re old, while you’re grabbing each other’s hand like in The Notebook.

But come on, how often do relationships die a quiet death? Sure, there are many reasons such a thing can happen. But one of the biggest reasons is a disease called “good enough.”

Giving your woman flowers without any special occasion? “Hmm, everything is good, I’d rather go home and watch an episode of Game of Thrones.” Lazy mofo.

No more “good enough.”

• The report you have to write.
• The people that you’re leading.
• The product that you’re building.
• The book that you’re writing.
• The kids that you’re raising.
• The strategy that you’re creating.
• The test that you’re taking.
• The app that you’re building.
• The uncomfortable conversation that you’re having.

I think that Jony Ive, designer of many of Apple’s products, including the MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, iPhone, iPad, and Apple Watch, put it well:

“If something is not good enough, stop doing it.”

That’s a simple rule to live by. If it’s not good enough, stop. Think about how you can do a good job. And then: Don’t stop again until you’ve done a great job.

Quit Multitasking

Chances are that you’re doing something else while you’re reading this article. You might be in a meeting, working on a proposal, talking to someone on the phone, working out in the gym, having dinner, you name it.

Am I right? Even if you’re 100% concentrated on reading this article, you probably engage in some multitasking throughout your day. Most of us do. We think it’s a good thing to be busy.

But at the same time, we all have read that multitasking is not effective. In recent years, there’s been a lot of attention for the negative impact of multitasking on your brain.

In simple words: You get dumber by multitasking. 

Why is it so hard to stop doing things that hurt us? All the negative effects of multitasking are not visible to us, I think.

If someone tells you: “We lose a lot of business due to multitasking.”

We think: “Sure.”

Or: “Multitasking kills your brain.”

We think: “I’m still here talking to you, right? My brain works pretty well.”

We read about it and continue to multitask our way through life. Our behavior doesn’t change.

All those things are hypotheticals—things that might happen. But what if I tell you that life is better NOW when you stop doing a million things at the same time?

First, I have a few questions for you:

1. Do you ever feel restless?
2. Do you feel the urge to grab your phone every 5 minutes?
3. Do you find it difficult to focus on one thing?
4. Do your relationships suffer from your “distracted” behavior?
5. Does your work suffer from that same behavior?

If you answered yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I have some news for you: You’re an addict.

I’m not kidding. I’m serious about this. It’s not normal if you’re always distracted or that you have an urge to give into intrusions.

In what universe is it normal to check your email every 5 minutes? Or answer immediately to texts, no matter what you’re doing? Or read the news every 10 minutes? Why do you need all those things?

I suspect you don’t have a real answer. At least, I didn’t. All those examples that I’m giving came from my own life.

I always felt on edge, like I was missing out on something. I was always thinking:

• “Are there any new emails I have to respond to?”
• “Who should I text now?”
• “What’s person X doing?”
• “Are there any new articles?”
• “Is there any new news?”
• “What happened in the NBA yesterday?”

And those thoughts popped up anytime during the day. During meetings, breakfast, lunch, dinner, work, relaxation, running . I was obsessed with doing multiple things at the same time.

The quality of life takes a serious hit if you’re a slave to distractions. But I believe that you shouldn’t be a slave to anything and that you should have full control over your mind. And not the other way around.

With a multitasking addiction, your mind controls your behavior. But that’s not what our mind is for.

According to Pragmatism, a philosophy founded by Charles S. Peirce, the mind is merely a tool to solve problems. There is no other practical use of your mind.

So why do you let your mind take control over your actions? Not good.

Why I Stopped

If you’re used to multitasking, it’s tough to stop. You need a compelling reason.

The reason I stopped is simple: Time.

Steve Jobs put it best:

“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”

You might think that multitasking saves time. But it’s the opposite. Every time you switch between tasks, it takes 20 minutes to re-focus on the original task. That adds up quickly.

And because I don’t want to waste my time on planet earth, I stopped multitasking altogether.

Get Fully Engaged

One of my favourite books about habits is Daily Rituals by Mason Currey. If you don’t know that book, it’s a collection of working routines of many of the greatest minds in history.

You can read about the habits of Nikola Tesla, Benjamin Franklin, Jane Austen, Voltaire, Ayn Rand, and more than 160 others.

For instance, Freud worked sixteen hours a day, but Gertrude Stein could never write for more than thirty minutes.

A common theme for most people who are mentioned in the book is that they managed to find time for uninterrupted work. Otherwise, how do you get things done? It’s impossible.

Most of them also went for long walks, closed the door to their office for hours at a time, or had very strict daily routines. They did these things to be alone with their thoughts, find calm, or just to focus on solving problems.

When we’re truly engaged, we don’t multitask — we’re too busy with the the task at hand. And that’s one of the core problems with multitasking. We just do a bunch of stupid things at the same time.

But have you ever multitasked satisfying activities? Stuff that you’re passionate about?

I don’t feel the urge to grab my phone when I’m having an interesting conversation, or when I’m enjoying the nature, or when I’m having a great meal.

So if you don’t know what else you should do other than checking your email, the news or social media, here are some ideas:

• Go for a one hour walk without devices.
• Spend a weekend in a cabin without internet.
• Put all the TVs in the basement or attic and only read during your down time.
• Go fishing.
• Play your favorite sport.
• Take a nap.
• Write in your journal.
• Listen to an album from start to finish.
• Start a video diary.
• Write a poem for someone you love.
• Do great work.

Just be creative. Because these activities, in contrast to mindless activities, really stimulate your mind. Your mind gets stronger if you do those things. See it as exercise for your brain.

And with a strong brain, you can achieve practically anything that you can image in life. Muhammad Ali put it best:

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it — then I can achieve it.”

Now, you just have to believe it. One task at a time.

Perfectionism :- Don't let it destroy your productivity...

Do you always worry that you didn’t do a good job? Do you always question your work and your actions? Are you afraid of admitting your mistakes? Does rejection make you feel like shit?

If so, you’re in great danger.

I’m not a perfectionist myself. At least, that’s what I try to tell myself. I bet that you try to tell yourself that as well. In fact, the people who don’t admit it are the worst.

But here’s the thing: If you’re a perfectionist, you’re just a procrastinator with a mask. It’s no different from someone who’s lazy and does nothing at all.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look. A perfectionist…

• Always waits for the right moment.
• Never makes mistakes.
• Always needs more time.

But at the end of the day, life and work is about outcomes. Results matter.

And if you’re a perfectionist you might get the outcomes some day. But the question is: When? And, at what cost?

Research specifically shows that perfectionism is closely related to depression and low self-esteem.

“Perfectionists are their own devils.” —Jack Kirby

Is the price of perfectionism really worth it?

I’ve found that perfectionism is just another form of procrastination. When you constantly worry about making mistakes, doubt creeps in your mind. And that causes indecision.

There are two types of perfectionists:

1. The one that never starts. You want to achieve something, but you immediately start doubting yourself. You think: “I don’t think I can do it.” So you never start.
2. The one that starts but has too high standards. You set a goal. You work hard (maybe too hard). But you’ve set your goals so high, that you’re always failing yourself.

Both scenarios can cause the following: Anxiety, worry, depression, and Type A behavior.

These are things that we rather avoid. Joachim Stöber and Jutta Joormann, who studied Worry, Procrastination, and Perfectionism, write:

“The combination of concern over mistakes and procrastination may be a crucial factor in the maintenance of worry. On the one hand, it may prolong existing threats because no steps are taken to cope. On the other hand, it may increase existing threats or even produce additional threats because initially solvable problems will pile up, thus creating an overload of problems that may finally be insoluble.”

And that feeling of being helpless is the biggest pitfall for us. Because what do we do when we feel helpless? Exactly—we give up. Just look at the studies about Learned Helplessness.

However, perfectionism is not always bad. In fact, some studies suggest perfectionism is related to greater achievement. But that’s not the question here.

Of course, when you set higher goals and if you have higher standards; you achieve more. Without a doubt, perfectionistic tendencies can be a good thing.

But as we all know, achieving goals is not the only thing in life. It’s more about HOW we reach our goals and aspirations.

“How can we beat the nasty side of procrastination and perfectionism?”

So we’ve talked about how procrastination and perfectionism are related, and why it can be bad. But what’s the solution?

I’ve found an interesting study by Gordon L. Flett and his colleagues; they talk about the role of learned resourcefulness to perfectionism. They suggest that learned resourcefulness can play a mediator role.

So I started looking into learned resourcefulness. And this is what I’ve found from an article by Michael Rosenbaum:

“Learned resourcefulness refers to the behavioral repertoire necessary for both regressive self-control and reformative self-control. This repertoire includes self-regulating one’s emotional and cognitive responses during stressful situations, using problem-solving skills, and delaying immediate gratification for the sake of more meaningful rewards in the future.”

Learned resourcefulness is the skill that you need to stop sabotaging yourself.

Finding a balance.

Let’s look at the opposite of a perfectionist: A slacker.

If you’re a slacker, you don’t care about much. Good enough is your motto. And you have no ambition at all.

An attitude like that doesn’t bring you anywhere. The American novelist Cormac McCarthy put it best:

“It’s like a lot of things, said the smith. Do the least part of it wrong and ye’d just as well to do it all wrong.”

Slacking is an attitude of “I don’t care.” But if you want to make things happen in your life, you have to care.

And what you want is to find a middle ground where your perfectionistic tendencies drive you, but you have the calm of a slacker, and you combine that with learned resourcefulness.

So that’s why I found a balance between perfectionism and slacking. It looks like this:

Do great work like a perfectionist, but don’t give too much attention to your goals like a slacker.

And finally, combine it with this:

• Resourcefulness — Goals can work well, but they can also be counterproductive. That’s why you want to rely on systems. And when shit hits the fan; use your problem-solving skills to figure things out.

To me, that’s the sweet spot: Instead of beating yourself up when you make a mistake or if you fail yourself, you just adjust or solve the problem.

• Avoid the perfectionist’s favorite sentence: “OMG, this is the worst thing ever!”
• Also avoid the slacker’s favorite sentence: “I don’t care.”
• But instead, you say: “I’ve got this.”

So what’s your current challenge? Actually, I don’t even have to ask: You’ve got this.

Momentum :-The ups and downs in our life....

Most things in life that are worth it are difficult to achieve. For example, it’s tough to build a successful business, form new habits, quit smoking, etc.

Here are some scary statistics to back that up:

• 90% of all startups fail.
• 96% of all small businesses fail within 10 years.
• 94% of smokers who want to quit fail.
• 92% of people quit their new year’s resolutions.

Yes, you will fail. There’s nothing wrong with that. But that’s not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about WHY most of us fail. We quit before we achieve momentum.

You see, whenever you start something new, it’s difficult to follow through. We often quit too early when we experience setbacks.

A lot has been said about conquering obstacles, not giving up, and expecting the worst — but when push comes to shove, we quit anyway.

Motivational quotes won’t help you during tough times. And instead of relying on blind faith or fluffy promises, start to take a look at the statistics more in-depth.

One of my friends wants to start a business. Recently we were talking about the failure rates. I was like: “Did you know 96% of all business fail within 10 years?”

I could see his face turning white with fear. He said:

“That’s pretty scary stuff. That makes you really rethink your approach.”

And he’s right. Starting a business, getting your dream job, losing weight, finding a spouse, or anything else that’s worth it is NOT easy. But at the same time, numbers can also be so scary that we never start.

Intention Beats Everything

Let’s take a closer look at failure rates. According to the Small Business Administration, 33% of businesses fail during their first two years.

What does that tell us?

Survive your first two years and you’re already performing better than a third of all businesses, or people. That’s like many things in life. Most people just quit before they reach some sort of success.

For instance, research shows that on average, it takes 66 days to for a new habit. But most people never give themselves enough time to form new habits.

And when they are unsuccessful, they think, “I suck.” Well, no, you don’t suck. You just need to keep going.

And it’s safe to say that there’s only one thing that’s important when you start something:

INTENTION.

And that’s also backed by science. According to the cognitive theory of planned behaviour, coined by Icek Ajzen, actions can be predicted by intentions.

The research is pretty convincing. In a study, done by Barbara Orser and colleagues, they found a relationship between growth willingness of the business owner (an indication of intention) and firm growth over a four-year period.

See, it’s not ALL bad.

The great news about this research is that YOU control intention. YOU control your actions and your effort. So in a way, the faith of your business, life, career, health, is in your hands—not circumstances or statistics.

To be successful, all you need is intention, plus another vital thing: Momentum.

The Magic Of Momentum

The way up is always more difficult than the way down. You know this. It’s physically more straining to walk uphill than downhill.

Why don’t you apply that analogy to your life and business?

I look at starting anything big in life like this:

It’s like pushing a ball of stone up a mountain. Of course, the way up is more difficult. But when you’ve pushed the mofo all the way to the top, all you have to do is give it a slight push, and it goes down by itself.

That’s momentum.

In a study by Rolland LeBrasseur and colleagues, that examined the relationship between growth momentum; I found something interesting.

It showed that startups that had a high level of activity in their first year, experienced a larger growth in their second year.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

The more you do, the more committed you are, and the more intent you show NOW, the more it will pay off LATER.

This law only holds true if you put in the energy to push the ball of stone up the mountain. You don’t have to go fast — just make sure you go steady. Because most people quit before they reach the top of the mountain.

What To Do When You Reached The Top Of The Mountain

Don’t smile yet. There’s another mountain waiting for you:

And after that, there’s another mountain. Up and down. Up and down.

Now it’s your turn: Up and down.